Performance nerves

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Performance nerves

I haven't had debilitating nervousness in performance for many years. I attribute this to three things:

The recognition that, even in the highest circles of performers, nervousness is common.
Everyone makes errors, and these errors are usually overlooked by the audience, and in fact, by other musicians.
Once the above are recognized, if one gives one's self permission to make errors, the lack of preoccupation with worrying about errors takes the terror out of performance.

I didn't always have this attitude. Once, in the 7th grade, and again at a solo performance at my first college teaching position, I got the diaphragm quivers, and immediately, a dry mouth. At that latter performance, I would have paid money to be able to spit dust! At that point, I began carrying a half lemon slice concealed in a handkerchief in my pocket, and at the first sign of dryness, would take it out, and under the guise of dabbing my mouth with the handkerchief, would bite the lemon through the handkerchief, which deposited a little lemon juice in my mouth, stimulating the salivary glands.

I attended a performance of the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra some years ago, and was amazed when Isaac Stern's bow bounced nervously in one place in the Sibelius Violin Concerto. I saw a film of Heifetz recording the Bach Partita, and was equally amazed when he clammed in several places.

But the most interesting situation occurred when a well-known horn player, whose performances I respect, gave a master class on stage deportment. It was loaded with excellent ideas for making the audience believe you loved them and were having fun there on the stage, despite the "road kill sausage" you may have had for breakfast. . Imagine my astonishment several years later, when, upon writing a piece, discouraging the use of beta blockers by performers, and was vigorously attacked by this same horn player, who, it seems, used them.

I discourage the use of beta blockers, because the performer, as a result, never learns to cope with performance. Other drugs such as tranquilizers or alcohol are the road to professional suicide. I once used a beta blocker when auditioning for an orchestra, only to find that I was not in control of my body. I didn't get the job. Once, during a summer while I was in college, when touring Europe with a show, we landed in a city at noon, and several of us enjoyed the excellent German beer until show time. Consequently, I discovered that I had little control of note placement, and clammed mightily. I apologized at length and in detail to the director afterwards. He realized that I had learned a lesson, and was quite considerate about it. But I never again consumed alcohol prior to a performance!

My 2 worth.

Burt Hardin

Burt Hardin's note on this subject bothered me. But first let me say that I agree wholeheartedly with his first two points, to wit:

(1) ... even in the highest circles of performers, nervousness is common. (2) Everyone makes errors, and these errors are usually overlooked by the audience, and in fact, by other musicians.

I would even add that the real mark of a good player and musician is that s/he corrects any slight errors almost immediately -- or at least, the next time around. For example, even the best players sometimes (albeit rarely) begin a note slightly out of tune -- but they correct almost instantly.

But what bothered me about Burt's posting is its inconsistency: he is quite comfortable with occasionally using lemon juice to combat dry mouth, but (again) vigorously discourages the use of beta blockers -- even once in a while. Assuming a reasonable dosage for the beta blocker, what's the difference? And, from what I read, eating bananas also suppresses the production of adrenalin -- is this also to be discouraged?

I have occasionally used a beta blocker, and found that it does not interfere with my physical control -- it simply removes some of the excess tension. And, to my knowledge, beta blockers are not physically addictive. If you don't need them, great, but many very fine players do find them helpful on occasion.

Of course, I completely agree that drinking alcohol before performance is a no-no. Alcohol does interfere with fine motor control, and can be physically addictive.

I'm surprised that Burt has again felt it necessary to reopen the old beta blocker thread -- the argument will never be settled, and the discussion usually borders on the theological. But I guess it is better than the endless (also theological) posts on why some players don't like the 8D.

Chris Earnest

I would even add that the real mark of a good player and musician is that s/he corrects any slight errors almost immediately -- or at least, the next

This is obvious. The skill is in showing no reaction to perceived faults

I didn't say that. If a professional player is so bothered that he or she cannot continue to perform and make a living without them, they are a lot better than tranquilizers or alcohol. But there are side effects of prolonged use that should be known before one decides to use them. I was referring to the inexperienced player, who uses them because he or she is uncomfortable performing. To use a beta blocker negates the opportunity to learn to handle performance nerves.

And, to my knowledge, beta blockers are not physically addictive.

You missed the point. see above

If you don't need them, great, but many very fine players do find them helpful on occasion.

Same comment

I'm surprised that Burt has again felt it necessary to reopen the old beta blocker thread --

I didn't open it. It was in the New York Times article that Cindy Lewis posted. I felt it was important because so many new people are on the list.

usually borders on the theological.

On the contrary, it is a matter of physiology and psychology.

Burt Hardin

Let me tell about me and beta blockers. When I was a sophmore in HS (I'm now a senior) I had to play an exposed solo. My heart would race really fast and my neck would tense and I would visibly shake all over and I would feel like I couldn't move. I discovered this during the concert as I sat there unable to play. This symptom spread outside of my musical life and I found that it would happen even if I was in a slight situation that would make me nervous. Example: having to read in class aloud even.

Seperate of this, I was diagnosed with a genetic anomoly that was discovered by accident while a heart murmur was being investigated. The doctors tested my family and it turns out that most people on my mother's side of the family have this anomoly. It's not serious at all since no one is symptomatic, however, they put me on beta blockers as a precautionary measure for this disorder. I had read about beta blockers and performace anxiety so I agreed to try them even if not for my nervousness.

Let me just say that I disagree with Dr. Hardin's statement that on beta blockers you can't overcome the real root of performance anxiety. The minute I started taking them (Inderal 10 mgm every eight hours; a very small dosage) my life changed. The nervousness that started the chain reaction has never come back. I'm now totally comfortable with playing a risky exposed solo or getting up to improv in Jazz band. And the intensity of the solo is not effected! Now, because of this, I'm more sure of myself... not because the beta blockers are working... but because I can play without getting nervous. The mental effects are very beneficial: I'm sure that if I stopped taking the beta blockers (and I have as an experiment) I wouldn't have any problem performing. So, I have to say that beta blockers can be helpful in combating performance anxiety... my point is that the physical effects are nonexistant as compared to the positive mental effects. If you try them though... you've got to have the right mindset. You must think: "I'm taking these beta blockers as a stepping stone to confidence. "

While I can't reccommend them for mild nervousness I can say that if your nervousness is debilitating, give them a try. If they work, you'll become confident enough that you'll rethink the consequences of "making a mistake" and you probably won't have to stay on them... and no. They're not addictive. I'm glad I take them even if they're not for nervousness. They've let me let music back into my consideration for a career.

Happy as ever,

Aleks Ozolins

OK, I'm jumping in again, both feet. This summer, I had a transient medical condition for which I was given the same dosage and frequency of beta blockers as Aleks was. I've had horrible, terrible performance anxiety for the entire 45 years I've been performing, and I had not learned to "cope" with it yet. Bananas, discovered recently, did help. But....I found that the effect of the low-dose beta blocker was to transform a threat into a challenge....and performing has become almost a joy, which is what it should be. It shouldn't be a situation where you just would rather die than do it. Some people have debilitating physical reactions to stage fright, and it often leaks into other aspects of their lives. All I really want to say is that if you have not lived in someone else's problem, don't judge their choice of a solution.

Mary ann

Between the lines of old fashioned language, there is a small message on nerves....

carl ek

From Herbert L Clarke's autobiography "How I Became a Cornetist"
[during his first public solo performances, at the age of 18, at an Ontario country fair]

...
I began to get thirsty and dry in the mouth, my heart seemed to beat twice as fast, and when standing to play, my legs trembled so that I nearly fell down. I simply was terribly nervous, that's all! I probably suffered more than my looks portrayed, yet notwithstanding all this torture I really wanted to play that solo!
...
However, I bowed and smiled, but what a smile! It stayed, and I'm sure made me look silly. The muscles of my face seemed to have grown set and rigid and I could not get them back. Upon striking the first note I had to push it will all the power possible; my lips became swollen, my mouth dry and tongue thick. The solo was Levy's Whirlwind Polka, much too difficult for me anyway, but I worried through it while wishing every minute that someone would shoot me and end my misery. I would have fallen over had it not been for the thought that if I gave up and failed, the humiliation would be so great that I might go out and kill myself.
...
[back in Toronto..]
After rehearsing a few weeks, Mr. Claxton asked if we were willing to donate our services to the Hospital for the Insane, by playing a concert for the inmates on a certain Friday night and as the concerts at the Island were finished for the season we unanimously agreed to do this. I was asked to play a cornet solo, which I thought would give me a glorious chance to "spring" the first solo l had ever composed, arranging it for the orchestra during spare moments at the store, unbeknown to anyone. it had gone fairly well at the rehearsal, and being highly complimented for my efforts I began to feel a bit swelled up, the same as all young beginners when someone tells them they are "good."

I was greatly elated over my first venture and looked forward to the night of the concert as the time when I would show people that besides being a good player I was a composer as well. Well, the great night came. I felt in pretty good form, remembering that I had won the cup in a cornet contest at the band tournament in the previous May, and this thought gave me more courage to try again and not give way to foolish nerves and feel frightened to death. But all that changed when standing before those poor imbeciles at the Hospital.

The concert hall of the Institution was crowded with thousands of inmates, and I became almost paralyzed with fear. I could not collect my thoughts or myself, and fervently wished that the stage might sink or open to swallow me up. However, I managed to produce a few tones, and worried through my new solo with great suffering. When I had finished the applause was wonderfully vociferous, the demented ones in the audience making all sorts of demonstrations when allowed to. They did not know any better and evidently were having a good time with me. Anyway, it braced me up to play an encore, which was received in the same boisterous manner.

Naturally, I felt humiliated by such a performance and went home broken hearted. I sat up all that night wondering if it ever would be possible for me to play a solo the same as all the great soloists I had heard, without any apparent showing of that terrible nervousness.

Dear Friends,

I have no experience in drugging away stage fright, but I can affirm that non-chemical methods really can help. Burton Hardin's 3rd point on the subject is right on target, to wit:

(3) Once the above are recognized [i.e., that even the pros mess up & that audiences & colleagues usually tolerate imperfection], if one gives one's self permission to make errors, the lack of preoccupation with worrying about errors takes the terror out of performance.

Even if you mess up totally, nobody really gets hurt & there's no permanent damage. As another horn-lister put it recently, horn playing has that advantage over brain surgery.

Thorough preparation is extremely helpful in getting over performance anxiety. Even more helpful are heavy doses of actual performance experience.

Anybody can prepare to a fare-thee-well, but not everybody can get lots of actual performance experience. That's because a Catch-22 is involved. If anxiety messes up your playing, it's hard to get more chances to perform, & if you can't get many performing opportunities, then you can't build up much performance experience. Plus, when performing opportunities are hard to come by, it's all the easier to choke when 1 does come along.

So what can you do? Join more groups that do frequent public performances. Play in small ensembles where everybody is on the spot, so you don't get section camouflage. Don't turn up your nose at community amateur ensembles. Don't shun humble performing venues. Court the jitters.

When you experience what it's like to mess up under those circumstances, maybe repeatedly, you'll soon catch on that the worst that can happen isn't nearly as bad as you've feared. Moreover, you'll discover that "the worst" usually won't happen. Then in time you'll get comfortable playing those solo licks, those exposed technical passages, those isolated high entrances. In short, you will have acquired real performance experience which will stick with you, build your confidence, & make you a stronger, more dependable player all around. That kind of experience only happens in real-time during live performance. You don't get that in the practice room (even though practice is indispensable for the thorough preparation you need.)

When I signed on to Dr. Gary Greene's E-Mail horn list a couple of years back, the initial topic of discussion going on at the time was beta-blockers for dealing with performance anxiety. Even though I was appalled, I didn't say so but just kept lurking (due to fear of rejection, I suppose). The same topic since has come round again at least 2 more times, & now I say to hell with fear of rejection. I am just a regular walking-around person & certainly no authority in music, medicine, or any other field. It's just my biased view that pharmaceuticals should not be used except for medical reasons. Stage fright is not a medical condition.

For the sake of full disclosure, let the record show that I am just an amateur community player who gets paid for a couple of dozen brass quintet & miscellaneous gigs each year. Plenty of community horn players I know, including some in the section where I'm principal, can play rings around me. When I was in Maryland Horn Club, I was maybe the next-to-best player in the bottom half of the group. But I have a good sound plus a track record of showing up prepared & coming through when the stick comes down, & that's why I've been able to gain performance experience far in excess of what you'd expect from my exceedingly modest level of talent & accomplishment. And I have nothing but gratitude for the opportunity.

Alan Cole

I'd like to relate a story and theory about performance confidence:

Earlier this summer I attented several 'group lesson' classes with my horn teacher. Typically as these had a sort of masterclass-like feel they were somewhat intimidating sessions, and my playing suffered. But then there was one day when I played every bit as well as I deserved based on my level of preparation - nothing prevented me from playing the horn to the best of my ability.

And why? Because I was in a mood of complete confidence. I'd just come from a job interview which had at the begining looked like it might spiral out of control. But my chosen profession, engineering is something I am naturally good at (unlike horn playing) and I know this with an UNSHAKABLE FUNDAMENTAL CONFIDENCE. So I managed to salvage my presentation during the interview - to use my knowledge that I am ABSOLUTELY LEGITIMATE in claiming the title "engineer" and very good at it - to in effect put my interviewers in their relative places and address them with confidence. I not only recovered, I felt I did very well. Going straight from that "audition" to a measly little horn lesson how could I psossibly play with less than 100% confidence?

But what about my normal horn-playing self? That is a very different person. Still inside the trumpet player who kept a horn literally hidden in his closet for a year, who started playing in a wind quintet but was afraid to be seen by any real horn players while carrying the case around campus. Sure I am in fact way beyond those days, but the feelings of doubt remain. We all know the horn will refuse to cooperate at times, and when that happens it is very easy to start to doubt one's right to use the title "horn player".

So I know I sounded kind of full of myself describing the job interview, but confident performance practically requires one to be balancing on that edge. Success at engineering feels good, but it is really the hard-earned success at horn playing that I care about. And self confidence is still the necessary goal. After all, if I don't myself think that I am worth listening to, why should my audience? To some extent, just brainwashing myself into thinking that "I am the world's best hornist" would be a good start. But in reality, the solution is to at once work to be a "rather good hornist" and come to believe the truth that in the eyes of myself and others I am "a good hornist".

Of course a rousingly successful, confidence building day at work is still a great warm-up to an evening rehearsal!

Chris

PS - in case the practical advice here wasn't clear, do whatever it is that you are best at in the hours before the big audition.

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